To Go Forward, It’s Time to Go Back
“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me” (Psalm 139:7-10).
Oh, restless one, I bring you peace now. These years go by, and I stay. These images in your memory, pages you flip through from the past, I make them beautiful. I show you beauty, and I want to show you more.
You can’t change the past, no. But you can look at it differently. You can’t change those moments when you were little, when you were the little girl with the tender skin and lips you used to bite. You can’t change that time, the one that hurts so much. Or, that one, the one you say you’d give anything to rewrite.
Oh, daughter, I want to show you what I see.
So, while the past can’t be rewritten, it can be made beautiful, even now, as you look back. I know what it means to not see one thing beautiful about a moment, to be filled with pain and sadness about circumstances. There are things that break my heart, too, you know.
But I forgive—and I will help you know how to forgive, too: as you look back at the pages of moments you wished you could change, the people involved. And yourself, my love. I need you to forgive yourself.
Let Me come for you like you need Me to. You can’t even know how much you need Me until you get a taste of what I have to offer you: healing for your heart, a past washed white. I make you clean, my daughter. I bend low and wash you clean with my very hands, my heart beating for you, my love. My grace covers you. My love covers you. My life restores you and makes all that you carry so light, so light.
You are made to be free. You are made to see and live in the beauty of you I created. You are beauty because I made you, and you were not meant to live in fear and regret and sadness—especially about the past. Close the old book now. A new one is written for you. I have new pages to show you. The pages of your past are in this new book, with a fresh, clean cover, white pages, pressed new.
And then turn the page.
There is so much more to write in this book, so many more stories and pictures to add. These pages are not flat; they are not one-dimensional. For you are in the story, my love. You are the story I am writing. You are the love I have made. You are the daughter who stirs my heart and whom I have redeemed and whom I show is worthy and beloved and whole.
So, grasp hold of my hand. For the new book to be presented to you, you need to let Me take you back to the places where you haven’t let Me go with you before. You need to let Me show you the light in the dark places, the hope in the despair, the presence of Me in all the times you felt so hurt, so sad, so alone.
And I will be holding your hand the whole time.
The whole time.
I promise.
|| More Resources For You ||
“Please, why do you make Me so small?” Holy Spirit asks. “You keep Me small to protect yourself, believing that limited hope will shield you from pain when dreams are not realized. You are afraid to dream. You are afraid to hope. Hope feels distant from you, an idea that you might believe is true only in theory—a nice idea that will be true one day. But when have you called heaven down? When have you prayed, with the authority I give you, with the power within you—the love I give you to be made manifest in your life?” → From our Rush devotional, “Ever-Present Peace.” Download it free here, and, of course, share it with a friend you think might appreciate it. Remember, you are divinely loved—and created to hope and dream.
Reader, who is your spiritual mother? Can you picture her in your mind? Maybe she’s your biological mother—or maybe a friend God brought into your life at just the right time. Maybe she’s still alive and you see her regularly—or maybe her season of influence in your life has already ended. Let’s take a moment to thank God for the spiritual mothers and sisters He’s given us. Each one is a valuable treasure, a heart worth remembering. And when you’re done, consider reading this message on 5 ways we can honor the spiritual mothers who are still in our lives. Because they need encouragement, too.
Mothers-in-law are certainly not exempt from spiritual mothering—and if you’ve been blessed to have an incredible mother-in-law, I hope you take a moment to thank Jesus for her, too. And if you are a mother-in-law (what a blessing!), I pray this article encourages you, reminding you that loving like Jesus and pouring out grace is always, always worth it.
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